A new year

2010 came and went and has been a great year for me. The most important event of course is that I married an absolutely wonderful woman, whom I love very much. She's beautiful, thoughtful, loving, inspiring, life-loving, thought provoking, and has brought more inner peace to me. We're both stubborn capricorns, so there is some head-butting going on once in a while, but I feel we always end up learning more about each other and ourselves which strengthens our relationship. I've been in relationships and in love before, but right now I feel I can be myself, instead of pretending to be someone that the other wants me to be. Of course there are always compromises, but that works both ways.

So what's new for 2011? Nobody knows of course, but there are a few things I'd like to mention that are ahead of me/us.

First things first, I signed up to run a half marathon in March, and I started training for it a few weeks ago. I feel I need to have this goal, not only to get my body in a good shape, but also to train me mentally, and feel better about the things I do.

Secondly, I need to think more about my professional career. This is a tough one. I have a very nice paying job, but it is not very stimulating at the moment. It's a 40 minute commute, which is not that bad, but it is tiring, need to get up very early, and often come home feeling tired which is not very nice for my loved ones. So I will be more active in finding a new job. Maybe even a career change, who knows. Moving to another state, or even region is not an option, since my kids are close by and I would regret it forever if I would have to move further away and be unable to see them grow up and participate in their activities and be there for them if they need me. My own parents had a store and had very little spare time to share with their kids. I don't want that to happen. A different job could also mean a decrease in income, which would require us to move to a more affordable house.

Which brings me to the third point. We really want to find a new place to live. Our current house is nice, but big, and in many ways not very practical as we discovered after living there for a while. Our lease ends in May, and hopefully we will be able to find a new place to live in the area. Buying is not an option, unless we win the lottery. Although luxury is nice, it's not a necessity, we both feel that living in a more simpler house would actually be more stimulating, it will provide a better outside palce for our three dogs. And I really want to be able to be a more active gardener.

I need to get in better financial shape. As I mentioned above I have a good salary, but after paying the rent, child support, bills, retirement funds, food, and credit cards, there's only so much left for other things and savings. So I want to be more active in budgetting, not using my CC anymore, and if needed just live simpler.

I also want to explore my inner self more. After my divorce I did some councelling, as well as I did this year, but in both cases I didn't feel that is was a live changing experience. Maybe it is not supposed to be, but I think it would be really healthy both for me and my relationships with other people if I understand myself better and will be better at expressing my thoughts and feelings. This blog is already a good start, and I plan to write more songs as well.  My best counsellor in fact is my wife.

Which brings me to my last point, my wonderful wife. I love her very much, and she's been an extremely support for me, and I want to be that for her as well. I know I already am at many times, but it is sometimes really hard for me to understand what she is going through, both personally as professionally. So I am going to work on being more understanding and more supportive and not let my own flaws get in the way.

So there, that's about it, those are my New Year resolutions. I hope that I am able to follow up on all of those. and I using this blog is already a big step for me. I'm not that easy with expressing my thoughts and feelings and hopefully this vehicle allows me to get more in touch with my inner self, resuling in being more at easy with myself and a better person in my relationships with the people close to me.

Happy new year!